What Grief Can Look Like:
Grief looks different for everyone. There is no “right” or “wrong way to grieve. Some common signs of grief in youth include:
- Sadness – Crying a lot or feeling empty inside.
- Anger – Feeling mad at the world or at the person who died.
- Guilt – Wishing they had done or said something differently.
- Confusion – Not understanding why it happened.
- Numbness – Feeling nothing at all for a while.
Individuals experiencing grief may also distance themselves from others, develop trouble sleeping or eating, act out behaviorly, and lose interest in things they once enjoyed.
How to Help a Grieving Youth:
Supporting a grieving youth can feel overwhelming, especially when you are feeling the weight of loss yourself. Just being available and present can make all the difference. Here are some ways to support youth through their grief:
- Listen without judging- Let them talk about their feelings openly and without judgement.
- Be patient – Grief takes time and the length of the process looks differently for everyone.
- Offer normalcy – Encourage routines to help them return to a new normal after a loss.
- Encourage healthy outlets – Support healthy coping skills like drawing, journaling, playing music, or sports.
- Validate their feelings – Normalize their feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel sad, mad, or confused.
- Support groups or therapy – Talking to a grief professional or joining a group with other grieving teens can help.
How to Talk to a Grieving Youth:
Language is extremely important, especially when dealing with youth. As supportive adults, we want to encourage a safe, caring, and open space for them to process their feelings. Here are a some helpful and supportive ways you can speak to a grieving youth:
- “You are not alone. I’m here for you. ”
- “I’m really sorry you're hurting. ”
- “Take all the time you need. ”
- “It’s okay to feel this way. ”
- “Your feelings matter. ”
- “I’m here when you’re ready to talk”
- “There’s no right or wrong way to feel. ”
- “I care about you. Always. ”
- “Let me know how I can best support you. ”
Avoid forcing the youth to talk to you, instead offer a supportive and safe space for when they are comfortable and ready to talk. Do not assume what the youth needs, instead let them lead the conversation and verbalize what support would be helpful.
When to Encourage Professional Help:
If the youth is unable to return to daily functioning after an extended period of time, or begin experiencing thoughts of hurting themselves, professional help from a licensed mental health professional may be required.
Support Services for Grieving Youth:
Offer resources that are equipt to handle the youth’s needs, but be mindful not to push unwanted help. Available resources include:
- School social workers or counselors
- Trained grief counselors
- Support groups
- Community youth programs
- Faith-based support and community
- Hotlines & Helplines
- Online Resources
A youth may not be ready for the resources and support, but knowing what is available can leave the door open for when they are ready.
Helpful Resources:
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Available 24/7 for anyone in emotional distress.
- Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com)- Find local licensed mental health professionals.
- Dougy Center (www.dougy.org) – Support and education for grieving children, teens, and families.
- Child Mind Institute (childmind.org) – Articles and tools for mental health and grief.
- Mindfulness or journaling apps – Like Calm, Headspace, or Daylio to help manage emotions.
